As we cruised in the lite green Dodge Neon I was jammin some Steppenwolf on my Ipod. "Chuk ch chuk ch chuk chuk bow! bow! Getch yer motor runnin!, Head out on da highway!" I screamed to the frog. Living in Michigan I wasn't far from the border and although I had no idea where Montreal was I knew it was in Canada and that's where we were going. Well that was the plan at least.
I got about half way to the Ambassador bridge when I realized I had a bag of weed in the glove box "I can't go across the border with this stuff Frog, I'm going to have to get rid of it." I said to the frog. Once again I knew I'd might be getting into a situation I would regret but I went ahead and carried on with my whim. I knew it wouldn't be smart to just pull over and start puffin on the herbs on the side of the road. I was wise enough to know that that's an easy way to get busted. So instead I decided to see if my half-sister Jewel's husband Crisco was home.
Crisco had recently lost his job and starting selling weed while taking care of their Autistic child Cyrus. I called him on my cellphone. "Is this Crisco"I said "No this is yo mother, how you doin kid? Whatch you want a tiny ass eighth sack again." Crisco replied. "Naw man, I wanted to know if it would be cool to come by and chill and smoke, I'm in the area and I thought you'd like to check out my Frog." I said. "You're frog, fuck that shit man, Yo I don't want no warts up in this piece or nothin like that son, ya feel me?" Crisco replied.
I arrived there shortly after we talked. Crisco had a freshly rolled blunt smoking in his hand as I walked in the door. "Hit some a dis shit homie" he said with clouds of smoke billowing forth from his face. "Uh? I'm trying to cut back actually dude, I kind of promised,,, " I stopped short as I still couldn't remember her name. Crisco smacked me upside the forehead and said "Hit It! YOU PUSSY!" he put his arm around my neck and did some mixed martial arts hold on me, he then put the blunt in my mouth and forced me to take in copious amounts of smoke until my eyes were blue and I was coughing up a storm.
I was now completely baked, there was no way I would be making it across the border. "What are you doin tonight man!, you want to go see some titty tonight, yeahhh!!!, we'll get fucked up, go lick some stripper titty! Wooo!!" Crisco exclaimed. "UH, yeah as great as that sounds Crisco I actually have some business I have to attend to in Canada, so if you don't mind I want to give you this weed here, and I gotta get flyin man, but thanks." I said with my foot going towards the door. "Wait a minute, Canada? Fuckin Canada, dude! you do know they show beaver there, tell me you know they show beaver over there?" He asked. I sighed and said "Yes, I suppose I've heard they show beavers over there." Crisco tilted his head raised an eyebrow and said. "Than we are going to look at some Canadian beavers bitch!" Then out of nowhere a spider gracefully falls from the ceiling onto Crisco's nose, the spider bites Crisco and he falls onto the living room table sending drug paraphernalia flying into the air. I shook my head, threw the bag of weed on him and jumped back in the car to tell Frog what had just happened. I opened the door and looked in the box for Frog, of course the frog had disappeared. I saw him jump away into the woods where I chased him until suddenly he came to a dead stop at a well surrounded by ferns.
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